cheers for yet another boh liao post
List of Anime i've ever watched:
Air TV
Ah Megamisama (OVA)
Adventures of mini-goddess
Bakurestu Tenshi
Beyond the clouds, the promised place (movie)
Bleach (current... 61 eps)
Blood the Last Vampire (movie)
Blood+ (current)
Blue Seed
Blue Sub No.6 (OVA)
Card Captor Sakura (70 eps)
CCS - The Clow (Movie 1)
CCS - The Sealed Card (Movie 2)
Ex Driver (OVA)
Fruits Basket
Full Metal Panic
Full Metal Panic- TSR
Full Metal Alchemist (52 eps)
GateKeepers
GateKeepers 21
Ghost in the Shell (movie)
Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
Grave of the Fireflies (movie)
Gundam Wing (52 eps)
Gundam Seed (52 eps)
Gungrave
Himiko-den
Howls Moving Castle (movie)
Ichigo Mashimaro
Ichigo 100%
Initial D Stage 1
Initial D Stage 2
Intiial D Stage 3
Intial D extra Stage (movie)
Infinite Ryvius
Jin-roh (movie)
Kanon
Kamichu (current)
Kiddy Grade
Kimi ga Nozomu Eien
Last Exile
Laputa castle... (movie)
Macross Zero OVA
Mahoraba - Heartful Days
MaiHime
Mai Otome (current)
Martian Succesor Nadeisco
MSN - Prince of Darkness (movie)
Naruto (stopped at about ep 155)
Neon Genesis Evangelion
NGE- Death & Rebirth (movie)
NGE- End of Evangelion (movie)
Noir
Onegai Teacher
Onegai Twins
Record of Lodoss war
R.O.D (OVA)
R.O.D TV
Samurai Champloo
Serial Experiments Lain
Sorcerer Stabber Orphen
Shakugan no Shana (current)
Shingetsutan Tsukihime
Slayers Next (2nd half)
Spirited Away
Spriggan (movie)
Trinity Blood
Wolf's Rain
Witchhunter Robin
Whisper of ... (movie)
X TV
Your'e Under Arrest (OVA)
YUA season ...
YUA movie ...
YUA special ...
Yami to boshi ......
This list may nt b complete harhar..
the "..." means i coudlnt remember
the name properly
Animes tt have not finished watching,
or watched too bloody sporadically
to consider hv truly watched:
The Last little love song on this planet
Texnolyze
Sakura Wars TV
Tenjo Tenge
Seraphim Call
Beserk
GITS 2nd Gig
GTO
some Dragonball Z eps
some Slamdunk eps
Akazukin Chacha
Note - A movie is, of course, a theatrical
feature, ranging from 40 mins to 2 hrs plus long.
An OVA is a short made for video production-
usually 3 to 5 episodes long. Anime series
made for TV broadcast usually are in 12, 26
or 52 episode counts. There are some exceptions
to this.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
one wonders, wt is the point of having a public blog
when one has a private one?
then wat is on the pub. blog is no longer, as originally
intended, a diary of one's honest emotions,
but (merely?) another form of communication,
another tool... MSN/Phone/Letter
tho asynchronous...
Anyway- i wuz so sien js thot of travels agn
and tt kindof nice quiet cafe in... siem reap i think..
the same one at NUS engine cafe...
Nguyen Truc or someth...
I had this queer drink of Orangejuice+condensedmilk+
raw egg... not bad acehrli... creamy...
when one has a private one?
then wat is on the pub. blog is no longer, as originally
intended, a diary of one's honest emotions,
but (merely?) another form of communication,
another tool... MSN/Phone/Letter
tho asynchronous...
Anyway- i wuz so sien js thot of travels agn
and tt kindof nice quiet cafe in... siem reap i think..
the same one at NUS engine cafe...
Nguyen Truc or someth...
I had this queer drink of Orangejuice+condensedmilk+
raw egg... not bad acehrli... creamy...
Monday, December 12, 2005
Back fr a 2 day road trip up 2 KL
god, the amt of food we had.... i shal
recall wt i had:
Sat 10 Dec
Bfast - Janen Jiang were late meeting at
checkpoint, so me n Ben went 2 hv Macs bfast.
1 SME (sausage mcmuffin with egg)
1/2 cup of tea
approx 915am: Arrive JB - have Kway teow Kway Chap
for Bfast - 25RM total for 5 ppl
1-2pm Arrive Malacca: Have Chicken Rice Balls 4 lunch-
Each person eats a total of 8 rice balls plus rice, 2 servings
of white chicken n bit of liver. Barely drink. Cost: 60RM for
5ppl.
6-7pm Arrive KL. Hotel Fiasco begins.
confusion btw Malaysia/Malaya Hotel. Fren's cousin
sposed 2 book hotel delegated task to another fren.
3 degrees of seperation here: ME>FREN>COUSIN>FREN
ultimately - we have no rooms. All hotels nearby R
fully booked. We spring in2 action combing for any avail
room in 2 seperate groups. Grp B is succesful
in finding 2 rooms. Our one night in KL is spent
at "Budget Inn" 55RM for a double room.
quite a lok-kok place. Rm has aircon, double bed
n toilet. But... hard 2 describe... one of the most
lok-kok places ive ever slept in. They hv
rooms avail for hourly rental too.
To lift spirits, we have a good ie expensive dinner
at The Ship. Cost: most ppl spent 60-70RM each.
I cheapoed n spent 28RM.
My order: French Onion Soup, Steamed FIsh Fillet
with vegetables. The soup tasted fine, but cheese wuz
minimal. Vegetables wuz the FMV variety
and the fish sucked.
one of the few meals i remember feelin real badd
abt it. The steak, escargots n service wuz good tho - indeed,
do NOT order seafood in a place tt specialises in steak.
After Dinner activity: Popped down 2 bangsar.
Went 2 first place. had heineken. Sucky seedy smoky place.
Tried 2nd joint. Bingo! Telawi St. Bristro.
V cool vibes place. Good selecttion of drinks.
Had me a Strawberry LIT (nt good mattch tho)
n a german beer. the TAPAS wuz GOOD.
we had 1- Tapas Mix Platter, comprising:
a) squid ink rice
b) tempura prawn
c) pate n biscotti
d) meats n cheese shavings
e) artichokes
f) some fishy cake thingie
g) some others stuff i dont recognise
h) salmon strips
> this item costs 30RM
2 Olives
Good stuff.
Back to hotel. Relatively high -
havin had 2.5 heinekens drunk quickly,
1 long island n somemore beer. nt much but abit
affected liao. Jane Jian go sleep
Ben goes reflexology Me n Ruth walk ard agn.
we have Dim Sum:
1)har kow
2) siew mai
3) a crepish like thing
4) a xiao long bao-like thing
5) ??
fulll..... back 2 shower n kun.
***
wakes up at 9am, slight headahce.
2dae had moRE food man... can die
Bfas approx 930amt: 2 x Idly 1 x vadai 1x Teh Halia - cost: 3RM
lunch approx 11am: bak kut teh wif yew tiao n pig trotters vinegar
n tie guan yin. cost: 100RM for 5 ppl
345pm > we have roti canai. I ordered 1 x roti canai sardine 1 x
teh-o halia. Cost: FREE ben paid...
approx 545pm > we have CONEY DOG meals at A&W...
nostalgic food.... Cost: 7.20RM
Arrive BAkc at JB >950pm. Have dinner proper >
Oyster Egg
Steam Garoupa
Kang Kong
Toufu
Fried meefen - v good this is
Round of drinks
72RM....
Tts all folks... too much man
PS. Summary for 2 days chow:
DAY1
730am Sausage Mcmuffin with Egg+Half cup Tea - SGD1.20 (redemeed points)
9 plus am Kway Chap 5RM pax
12pm Chicken Rice with Balls 12 RM pax
7pm Fish Fillet, French Onion Soup + Escargot 28RM
9pmish Assorted Tapas + Drinks (2.5 bottles heineken, 1 strawberry long island, half half yard beer) approx 85 RM
2amish Dim Sum never paid
DAY2
930am Idly, Vadai + Teh Halia 3 RM
12 am Bak Kut Teh 20RM
330 pm Roti Canai with Sardine n Teh-o halia Bens Treat
6pm A&W Coney Dog Meal 7.2RM
10pm Zhi Char 12RM pax
Food is cheap
god, the amt of food we had.... i shal
recall wt i had:
Sat 10 Dec
Bfast - Janen Jiang were late meeting at
checkpoint, so me n Ben went 2 hv Macs bfast.
1 SME (sausage mcmuffin with egg)
1/2 cup of tea
approx 915am: Arrive JB - have Kway teow Kway Chap
for Bfast - 25RM total for 5 ppl
1-2pm Arrive Malacca: Have Chicken Rice Balls 4 lunch-
Each person eats a total of 8 rice balls plus rice, 2 servings
of white chicken n bit of liver. Barely drink. Cost: 60RM for
5ppl.
6-7pm Arrive KL. Hotel Fiasco begins.
confusion btw Malaysia/Malaya Hotel. Fren's cousin
sposed 2 book hotel delegated task to another fren.
3 degrees of seperation here: ME>FREN>COUSIN>FREN
ultimately - we have no rooms. All hotels nearby R
fully booked. We spring in2 action combing for any avail
room in 2 seperate groups. Grp B is succesful
in finding 2 rooms. Our one night in KL is spent
at "Budget Inn" 55RM for a double room.
quite a lok-kok place. Rm has aircon, double bed
n toilet. But... hard 2 describe... one of the most
lok-kok places ive ever slept in. They hv
rooms avail for hourly rental too.
To lift spirits, we have a good ie expensive dinner
at The Ship. Cost: most ppl spent 60-70RM each.
I cheapoed n spent 28RM.
My order: French Onion Soup, Steamed FIsh Fillet
with vegetables. The soup tasted fine, but cheese wuz
minimal. Vegetables wuz the FMV variety
and the fish sucked.
one of the few meals i remember feelin real badd
abt it. The steak, escargots n service wuz good tho - indeed,
do NOT order seafood in a place tt specialises in steak.
After Dinner activity: Popped down 2 bangsar.
Went 2 first place. had heineken. Sucky seedy smoky place.
Tried 2nd joint. Bingo! Telawi St. Bristro.
V cool vibes place. Good selecttion of drinks.
Had me a Strawberry LIT (nt good mattch tho)
n a german beer. the TAPAS wuz GOOD.
we had 1- Tapas Mix Platter, comprising:
a) squid ink rice
b) tempura prawn
c) pate n biscotti
d) meats n cheese shavings
e) artichokes
f) some fishy cake thingie
g) some others stuff i dont recognise
h) salmon strips
> this item costs 30RM
2 Olives
Good stuff.
Back to hotel. Relatively high -
havin had 2.5 heinekens drunk quickly,
1 long island n somemore beer. nt much but abit
affected liao. Jane Jian go sleep
Ben goes reflexology Me n Ruth walk ard agn.
we have Dim Sum:
1)har kow
2) siew mai
3) a crepish like thing
4) a xiao long bao-like thing
5) ??
fulll..... back 2 shower n kun.
***
wakes up at 9am, slight headahce.
2dae had moRE food man... can die
Bfas approx 930amt: 2 x Idly 1 x vadai 1x Teh Halia - cost: 3RM
lunch approx 11am: bak kut teh wif yew tiao n pig trotters vinegar
n tie guan yin. cost: 100RM for 5 ppl
345pm > we have roti canai. I ordered 1 x roti canai sardine 1 x
teh-o halia. Cost: FREE ben paid...
approx 545pm > we have CONEY DOG meals at A&W...
nostalgic food.... Cost: 7.20RM
Arrive BAkc at JB >950pm. Have dinner proper >
Oyster Egg
Steam Garoupa
Kang Kong
Toufu
Fried meefen - v good this is
Round of drinks
72RM....
Tts all folks... too much man
PS. Summary for 2 days chow:
DAY1
730am Sausage Mcmuffin with Egg+Half cup Tea - SGD1.20 (redemeed points)
9 plus am Kway Chap 5RM pax
12pm Chicken Rice with Balls 12 RM pax
7pm Fish Fillet, French Onion Soup + Escargot 28RM
9pmish Assorted Tapas + Drinks (2.5 bottles heineken, 1 strawberry long island, half half yard beer) approx 85 RM
2amish Dim Sum never paid
DAY2
930am Idly, Vadai + Teh Halia 3 RM
12 am Bak Kut Teh 20RM
330 pm Roti Canai with Sardine n Teh-o halia Bens Treat
6pm A&W Coney Dog Meal 7.2RM
10pm Zhi Char 12RM pax
Food is cheap
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
I am both puzzled and surprised at myself-
I consider myself a strange mix- theres this
strange dicotomy(tryin 2 b chim here), duality.
I m referrin 2 hw I am sometimes, in some company,
extremely confident (on ocassion, arrogant), yet in
others meek, a shrinking violet even (ugh - yes i noe its
not exactly approp use)...
Is this normal chaps?
Im thinkg its like a by-product of learned helplessness
- perhaps in those years in VS, NS - surrounded by
bunch of ppl i was intimidated by, i survived by
being weak - U may of heard of this theory - i guess
it does show up in the animal world too: If u can't beat em,
pretend 2 b dead.
Learend helplessness can be -unlearend...
Or am i merely gratifiying a martyr complex?
js simply alittle not so confident...?
when the Aplha male appears, the omega retreats situaiton?
hermherm - i dont like this man
laterzz
I consider myself a strange mix- theres this
strange dicotomy(tryin 2 b chim here), duality.
I m referrin 2 hw I am sometimes, in some company,
extremely confident (on ocassion, arrogant), yet in
others meek, a shrinking violet even (ugh - yes i noe its
not exactly approp use)...
Is this normal chaps?
Im thinkg its like a by-product of learned helplessness
- perhaps in those years in VS, NS - surrounded by
bunch of ppl i was intimidated by, i survived by
being weak - U may of heard of this theory - i guess
it does show up in the animal world too: If u can't beat em,
pretend 2 b dead.
Learend helplessness can be -unlearend...
Or am i merely gratifiying a martyr complex?
js simply alittle not so confident...?
when the Aplha male appears, the omega retreats situaiton?
hermherm - i dont like this man
laterzz
Sunday, November 27, 2005
more abt the trip-
reminsicning while being bored
wt came 2 mind:
sitting on the stone tables in the courtyard in
my guesthouse at Luang Prabang...
for dinner i bought One x grilled fish fr the pasar
malaam... it wuz i think 1000 kip... i think..
hmm memory fails... wuz a smaller fish- got
bigger one 1500 or 15000 cant rem sia
but should b 1000 kip - abt 1 USD
at the fish wif beer- the nice owner brought me a plate
n i shared bit of the fish wif the cat...
i flew bak 2 vientiene then bus 2 bangkok fr there-
so tt wuz the last part of my trip liao...
where did i stay in vient... oh i didnt- js dumpd
me bags at guesthouse n wait 4 the bus...
the bus bak was good tho... nice
next best 2 tt intra cambodia one...
a movie i js watchd there wuz this line which went someth like
"the best thing 2 travelling is going home"
indeed tt wuz hw i felt when i wuz taking the tuk tuk
2 the airport at LP. relief- going home...
guess i wasnt built 4 solitary travel as well as i thot
wt other memorieS? cuchi tunnels was nt bad- proli
the best TOurist Tour. they servd tapioca at end of tour
wif a peanut n sugar dipping sauce- haha... to "experience"
the hunger of the time... i wonder if the ang-mohs ever tried
b4...
others? Hmm got 2 shoot of AK-47 n a colt pistol
in cambodia- tt wuz fun tho pricey. AK recoil is super-nt-funny sia.
i fired while seated- with a stand n still the jerk wuz like...
but colt is much more fun...
stil others? Hmm i guess chatting wif Nueng- one of my
waitresses at the corner of Soi Cowboy in Bangkok js
b4 comin home. i wuz too shy 2 go in one of them
dirty bars so ended up pubbing there instead.
They serve bottled beers wrapped in a stryofoam holder-
smart n cheap way 2 keep em cool.
i guess i rem her cos she wuz so coy haha...
she appeard 2 by shy when i wuz lookin at her-
said she, tt i lookd 2 much like a thai- which made it
"real" i guess, preventing her fr engaging in the
usual flirty style she did wif them ang-mohs
true or false? go figure- but it was memorable...
i guess im feelin lonely nw too altho i may nt always
b aware of it. tt y mood ups n downs man. kinda frustrating.
Oh- another tourist exhibit - Tuol Seng genocide museum-
agn v memorable emotional. The war meusuem in vietnam wasnt bad
too...
Best hotel/guesthouse- Viet Hai at Nha trang- friendly staff,
simple breakfast thrown in which the lady prepared 4 us-
banana other frutis, baguette wif laughing cow cheese n tea.
the social highlight of me visit i guess has 2 b when i travelled
wif stephanie n ... crikey wat wuz her name- the kiwi girl...
for a couple of days-
abit uncomfortable but well, different.
i smoked a single puff of the kiwi girls "Spliff"-
a self rolled tobacco wif xtras...
it was v pleasant ha... i didnt even noe it was special
until she told me afterwards- sorta made me regret
i was my law-abiding selff even miles fr home.
should hv tried i thot ha...
Linguistic highlight- exchanging a few words wif the
Japanese dude- A restaurant owner at viet-- yea viet
was calling me bak after i paide me bill. i wuz kinda clueless
wt the prob wuz but this jap dude called me "Nihonjin desu ka?"
n i instantly replied "Chigaimasu, Shingaporujin desu"
the dude spoke great english too. he said he spoke viet cos
hed been there many times... well well...
Why havent i recalled the times when i spent wif the others?
mebe cos i wuz too comfy? enjoyin the company nt so much
as the travel experience?
But defn rem the 26 hr bus ride- heh ok im exagerrating-
it includes few short stops...
tt wuz fr Hoi-an, Vietnam direct to Vientiane Laos-
check the map dude
its nt funny.
N it wuz a bloody con- or at least damn poor service.
we got up the quite high standard tourist bus in viet first-
a short ride to Hue we were told 2 get off-
n we got bak on another air-con bus jamp packed wif local
tourists- lotsa familys- with strange smell in the air...
well this bus brought us up 2 vinh - n we were told 2
get off- this wuz abt 1am ... i waitd til abt 3 am at this
nite-kopitiam - interesting food tho - chilli ikan bilis
porridge- they js add the ikan 2 the chok n it becomes
all reddish - me js had simple duck porridge... they serve
it wif some offal so tts more fun.
anyway it wuz here tt i met eng seng. I wuz travellin north,
he south, but both headed 2 vientiene. eng seng is
a singaporean dude who was a taking a break after
working for couple years- hes abt 26,27 la...
anyway- the bus tt picked us up at abt 3am was the killer.
its like a small old school bus, no aircon, cramped seats-
and half the floor was filled wif cargo-lotsa fruits- go figure.
the bus made the worst part of the trip over bad ground,
stopping at strange places for the new crew-
a rather intimidating one where no-one spoke english-
to deliver fruit.
i cant remember getting off the bus.
herm.
anyway - the impressive thing abt the bus tho was
the super-fast changing of the tyre tt blew ...
reali impressive- when it happnd- i went 2 check out the
trye- it was like- skinned- a large part of the tyre
peeeeled off. i kept a smal bit of the rubber but threw it away
later. anyway-the trye changing procedure. This small monkey
of a dude got this ladder n climbed up the bus - lo n behold,
nt onli was there a spare tyre on top of the bus, but a transmission
as well. The dude, with others, stringed up the tyre n lowered it
while others jacked up the bus n removed the dead tyre.
ithink it took all of ten minutes man...
yea... well wif eng seng, i went 2 vang vien n had a pretty
fun tourist- thing- the caving tubing thing...Vang vieng
is quite possibly the most beautiful place ive seen
where people stay. Places like mount XYZ in brunei
and Kinabalu dunt count cos they are parks n special places.
this was a real small town tt had an airfield bside it- ex air-field
think was used in viet war or someth by americans...
It was there tt i tried opium tea.
quite unforgettable ... Vang vien town, of whic main road
is all of ... 400m long? has lotsof this cosy tourist hangouts-
short short tables japanese style wif cushions all ard 4 u 2 laze...
n the food menus there have this special section -
serving "Happy" versions of their pizzas, milkshakes n wat nt.
me shared a opium tea wif ES... it wuz a lipton tea
with this frothy powder addition...
wif great intrepidation we sipped. N nothing. ES felt it was too bitter,
leaving me 2 finish the mug. Still nothing.
However, aabt an hour later- i started 2 feel weird. Noth like an alchohol
high... but js weird. Abt an hour n half later, i was nt feeling 2 comfortable
n proceedde 2 drink some hot water on the veranda of our guesthouse...
2 hours later- i made a dash for the toilet n threw up my dinner....
the opium tea experience.
well tts all 4 nw folks... wat shal i do 4 the rest of the day?
reminsicning while being bored
wt came 2 mind:
sitting on the stone tables in the courtyard in
my guesthouse at Luang Prabang...
for dinner i bought One x grilled fish fr the pasar
malaam... it wuz i think 1000 kip... i think..
hmm memory fails... wuz a smaller fish- got
bigger one 1500 or 15000 cant rem sia
but should b 1000 kip - abt 1 USD
at the fish wif beer- the nice owner brought me a plate
n i shared bit of the fish wif the cat...
i flew bak 2 vientiene then bus 2 bangkok fr there-
so tt wuz the last part of my trip liao...
where did i stay in vient... oh i didnt- js dumpd
me bags at guesthouse n wait 4 the bus...
the bus bak was good tho... nice
next best 2 tt intra cambodia one...
a movie i js watchd there wuz this line which went someth like
"the best thing 2 travelling is going home"
indeed tt wuz hw i felt when i wuz taking the tuk tuk
2 the airport at LP. relief- going home...
guess i wasnt built 4 solitary travel as well as i thot
wt other memorieS? cuchi tunnels was nt bad- proli
the best TOurist Tour. they servd tapioca at end of tour
wif a peanut n sugar dipping sauce- haha... to "experience"
the hunger of the time... i wonder if the ang-mohs ever tried
b4...
others? Hmm got 2 shoot of AK-47 n a colt pistol
in cambodia- tt wuz fun tho pricey. AK recoil is super-nt-funny sia.
i fired while seated- with a stand n still the jerk wuz like...
but colt is much more fun...
stil others? Hmm i guess chatting wif Nueng- one of my
waitresses at the corner of Soi Cowboy in Bangkok js
b4 comin home. i wuz too shy 2 go in one of them
dirty bars so ended up pubbing there instead.
They serve bottled beers wrapped in a stryofoam holder-
smart n cheap way 2 keep em cool.
i guess i rem her cos she wuz so coy haha...
she appeard 2 by shy when i wuz lookin at her-
said she, tt i lookd 2 much like a thai- which made it
"real" i guess, preventing her fr engaging in the
usual flirty style she did wif them ang-mohs
true or false? go figure- but it was memorable...
i guess im feelin lonely nw too altho i may nt always
b aware of it. tt y mood ups n downs man. kinda frustrating.
Oh- another tourist exhibit - Tuol Seng genocide museum-
agn v memorable emotional. The war meusuem in vietnam wasnt bad
too...
Best hotel/guesthouse- Viet Hai at Nha trang- friendly staff,
simple breakfast thrown in which the lady prepared 4 us-
banana other frutis, baguette wif laughing cow cheese n tea.
the social highlight of me visit i guess has 2 b when i travelled
wif stephanie n ... crikey wat wuz her name- the kiwi girl...
for a couple of days-
abit uncomfortable but well, different.
i smoked a single puff of the kiwi girls "Spliff"-
a self rolled tobacco wif xtras...
it was v pleasant ha... i didnt even noe it was special
until she told me afterwards- sorta made me regret
i was my law-abiding selff even miles fr home.
should hv tried i thot ha...
Linguistic highlight- exchanging a few words wif the
Japanese dude- A restaurant owner at viet-- yea viet
was calling me bak after i paide me bill. i wuz kinda clueless
wt the prob wuz but this jap dude called me "Nihonjin desu ka?"
n i instantly replied "Chigaimasu, Shingaporujin desu"
the dude spoke great english too. he said he spoke viet cos
hed been there many times... well well...
Why havent i recalled the times when i spent wif the others?
mebe cos i wuz too comfy? enjoyin the company nt so much
as the travel experience?
But defn rem the 26 hr bus ride- heh ok im exagerrating-
it includes few short stops...
tt wuz fr Hoi-an, Vietnam direct to Vientiane Laos-
check the map dude
its nt funny.
N it wuz a bloody con- or at least damn poor service.
we got up the quite high standard tourist bus in viet first-
a short ride to Hue we were told 2 get off-
n we got bak on another air-con bus jamp packed wif local
tourists- lotsa familys- with strange smell in the air...
well this bus brought us up 2 vinh - n we were told 2
get off- this wuz abt 1am ... i waitd til abt 3 am at this
nite-kopitiam - interesting food tho - chilli ikan bilis
porridge- they js add the ikan 2 the chok n it becomes
all reddish - me js had simple duck porridge... they serve
it wif some offal so tts more fun.
anyway it wuz here tt i met eng seng. I wuz travellin north,
he south, but both headed 2 vientiene. eng seng is
a singaporean dude who was a taking a break after
working for couple years- hes abt 26,27 la...
anyway- the bus tt picked us up at abt 3am was the killer.
its like a small old school bus, no aircon, cramped seats-
and half the floor was filled wif cargo-lotsa fruits- go figure.
the bus made the worst part of the trip over bad ground,
stopping at strange places for the new crew-
a rather intimidating one where no-one spoke english-
to deliver fruit.
i cant remember getting off the bus.
herm.
anyway - the impressive thing abt the bus tho was
the super-fast changing of the tyre tt blew ...
reali impressive- when it happnd- i went 2 check out the
trye- it was like- skinned- a large part of the tyre
peeeeled off. i kept a smal bit of the rubber but threw it away
later. anyway-the trye changing procedure. This small monkey
of a dude got this ladder n climbed up the bus - lo n behold,
nt onli was there a spare tyre on top of the bus, but a transmission
as well. The dude, with others, stringed up the tyre n lowered it
while others jacked up the bus n removed the dead tyre.
ithink it took all of ten minutes man...
yea... well wif eng seng, i went 2 vang vien n had a pretty
fun tourist- thing- the caving tubing thing...Vang vieng
is quite possibly the most beautiful place ive seen
where people stay. Places like mount XYZ in brunei
and Kinabalu dunt count cos they are parks n special places.
this was a real small town tt had an airfield bside it- ex air-field
think was used in viet war or someth by americans...
It was there tt i tried opium tea.
quite unforgettable ... Vang vien town, of whic main road
is all of ... 400m long? has lotsof this cosy tourist hangouts-
short short tables japanese style wif cushions all ard 4 u 2 laze...
n the food menus there have this special section -
serving "Happy" versions of their pizzas, milkshakes n wat nt.
me shared a opium tea wif ES... it wuz a lipton tea
with this frothy powder addition...
wif great intrepidation we sipped. N nothing. ES felt it was too bitter,
leaving me 2 finish the mug. Still nothing.
However, aabt an hour later- i started 2 feel weird. Noth like an alchohol
high... but js weird. Abt an hour n half later, i was nt feeling 2 comfortable
n proceedde 2 drink some hot water on the veranda of our guesthouse...
2 hours later- i made a dash for the toilet n threw up my dinner....
the opium tea experience.
well tts all 4 nw folks... wat shal i do 4 the rest of the day?
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
the spike in post frequency clearly shows
my recent boredom
wuz thinkg abt writing abt my trip heh... 6 mths dn the roadd man...
well.. here goes ...
What were the highlights on me trip?
hmm leme think of it chronologically...
START
lesse.... i first met up with jiexin theyal
at changi airport yea?... rushed 2 the far
far gate... flew 2 bangkok...
went 2 this hotel at Khao san tt wuz recommended
by .... shit i 4got his name... tts bad.. anyway it
wuz rather pricey man.. so tt wuz abit of a bad
experience str off man... n we got woken up by
faith n the dudes who rchd there 2 meet up wif us
at like 5 am ...
and so comes the first highlight- agn
taking tt dudes recommendation -aha!YONGTANGG
... Oh - tt recommd wuz a bus ride
fr bangkok str 2 SiemReap in Cambodia-
the TravelLLing beginz...
i wasnt too keen but then it wuz onli 200Baht i think,
marketed as VIP bus ride...
well the initial phase wasnt bad... double decker,
reclining plush seat aircon bus... albeit rundown but
stil alright... it wuz at the cambodian border tho
tt things changed...
we got off at the border... quite a scene it wuz..
chaotic, stall owners n intimidating lookg locals everywhere
n a mass/mess of vehicles ... after a short wait,
we got bak on not our nice bus, but this small
dust coated mini-bus with no aircon, seats wif broken
springs n sometimes no seats where seats should b,
n peanut shells n stuff on the floor.
well tt wuz our home for next... hw many hrs wuz it? mebe
abt 6 hrs... on rocky roads... id say tho- unlike some of
my companions, i like the rocky bits... at least it wuz FUN
- like roller coaster n took my mind of the dustiness
n griminess of my own sweat n sand getting 2 noe each other...
come 2 think of it- i cant rem exactly when we got off the bus...
so there u hv it- my first highlight...
lesse if i can think of one more...
SIEM REAP
i liked tt little town... funny tt when we got bak
2 spore there wuz this gunmen incident at the int'l sch...
our guesthouse wasnt bad- i drank my first of many beers
in large tiger-size bottles at the courtyard at nite where the
attendent wuz watching thai tv. Most memorable first-off
BREAKFAST- i rem it cost 1500 riels... hm hw much is tt?
anyway- it wuz Beef broth wif toasted Baguette...
a v small bowl/dish of tasty beef soupy stuff.. the stall we
makan at had lotsa locals- v construction worker like
environ... the aunty stall owner had the baguettes toasting
over charcoal n wiremeshh while the stall set-up had
tt big pot of beef simmering n many maggi-mee packets
for deco - n also for maggi-beefbroth..
Tea is given FOC on tables n cups(i think meant 4 tea)
r there too self-svc... lotsa chilli n other condiments r avail.
I like soup- so this went down real gd 4 me.. i went bak the next
day 4 the more of the same too.
aha! upon googling- i hv rememberd 1USD=1.7SGD=4000 riel approx
soooo- 1500 riel is like wat?... 85 cents? superb bfast value
heh u wil notice most of my highlights will hv 2 do wif food...
wt else did we go at siem reap?
well we had 2 gd fortune of finding a good tour agency-
v nice educated chap boss n guide- gd price 4 a
1 day tour package - morng Angkor wat... truly magnificient,
stalls n cheap good iced coconot everywhere ... but u get tired
of it sooner than u think...
i managed 2 get a nice photo tho as we were leaving -
a monkey climbing a tree in the foregrd wif Angkor in the distance...
we had a buffet dinner (which wuz okayy, clean) wif performance
... the agency jetted us abt this nice bus of korean/japanese origins
- reali.. nt js the brand man... the kind u see on telly...
anyway - we also went 4 the boat tour thing... forgettable
but great scenery... oh - there were kids playing n trying 2 get us 2 give
them cash- they were like rowing themselves on the lake
riding baskets, pots, little bath sinks... quite funny...
We bookd the bus to Phnom Penh fr this same co.
Sigh- the treatment we got reeaalii made me feel pain for the
previous ride- and all others following...
for $5USD - $8SGD? We got a limo bus ride- n yes it wuz all tt...
a transfer fr the hotel in tt same jappy-bus (hell i dun wed hv minded
taking this one) but we were chaffeured 2 the interchange
where we were greeted, name-list chekcd, our luggage bagged
n tagged - macam airport check-in n got on 2 a nice comfy
aircon bus. (tho the leg space wuz bit cramp 4 me)
anyway- the stewardess spoke adequate english,
n v shrewdly onli interrupted the journey mebe 3 times 2 point out
sites but otherwise shutt-up... n we got servd mineral water
n a lunch pack of cake sandwhcih n donut...
Get urself a map man n cehck out the distance fr Bangkok-SiemReap
and SieamReap to PhonmPen. Pure distance wise,
u can understand yyy i got so pissed at the previous rip-job...
oH YAA- i nv complain abt the prev con too... Js b4 we set-off- they
brought us 2 this money change wif CON rates-
i mentiond b4 tt 1USD approx 4000 riel... tt one changed it at 3300....
nt too shabby rates rite..?
well the ironic thing is- onli after we got on the rip job tt i read this
article in lonely planet- "beware of rides btw bangkok n siem reap
promising low rates etc...."
haha....
til the next bored-time
my recent boredom
wuz thinkg abt writing abt my trip heh... 6 mths dn the roadd man...
well.. here goes ...
What were the highlights on me trip?
hmm leme think of it chronologically...
START
lesse.... i first met up with jiexin theyal
at changi airport yea?... rushed 2 the far
far gate... flew 2 bangkok...
went 2 this hotel at Khao san tt wuz recommended
by .... shit i 4got his name... tts bad.. anyway it
wuz rather pricey man.. so tt wuz abit of a bad
experience str off man... n we got woken up by
faith n the dudes who rchd there 2 meet up wif us
at like 5 am ...
and so comes the first highlight- agn
taking tt dudes recommendation -aha!YONGTANGG
... Oh - tt recommd wuz a bus ride
fr bangkok str 2 SiemReap in Cambodia-
the TravelLLing beginz...
i wasnt too keen but then it wuz onli 200Baht i think,
marketed as VIP bus ride...
well the initial phase wasnt bad... double decker,
reclining plush seat aircon bus... albeit rundown but
stil alright... it wuz at the cambodian border tho
tt things changed...
we got off at the border... quite a scene it wuz..
chaotic, stall owners n intimidating lookg locals everywhere
n a mass/mess of vehicles ... after a short wait,
we got bak on not our nice bus, but this small
dust coated mini-bus with no aircon, seats wif broken
springs n sometimes no seats where seats should b,
n peanut shells n stuff on the floor.
well tt wuz our home for next... hw many hrs wuz it? mebe
abt 6 hrs... on rocky roads... id say tho- unlike some of
my companions, i like the rocky bits... at least it wuz FUN
- like roller coaster n took my mind of the dustiness
n griminess of my own sweat n sand getting 2 noe each other...
come 2 think of it- i cant rem exactly when we got off the bus...
so there u hv it- my first highlight...
lesse if i can think of one more...
SIEM REAP
i liked tt little town... funny tt when we got bak
2 spore there wuz this gunmen incident at the int'l sch...
our guesthouse wasnt bad- i drank my first of many beers
in large tiger-size bottles at the courtyard at nite where the
attendent wuz watching thai tv. Most memorable first-off
BREAKFAST- i rem it cost 1500 riels... hm hw much is tt?
anyway- it wuz Beef broth wif toasted Baguette...
a v small bowl/dish of tasty beef soupy stuff.. the stall we
makan at had lotsa locals- v construction worker like
environ... the aunty stall owner had the baguettes toasting
over charcoal n wiremeshh while the stall set-up had
tt big pot of beef simmering n many maggi-mee packets
for deco - n also for maggi-beefbroth..
Tea is given FOC on tables n cups(i think meant 4 tea)
r there too self-svc... lotsa chilli n other condiments r avail.
I like soup- so this went down real gd 4 me.. i went bak the next
day 4 the more of the same too.
aha! upon googling- i hv rememberd 1USD=1.7SGD=4000 riel approx
soooo- 1500 riel is like wat?... 85 cents? superb bfast value
heh u wil notice most of my highlights will hv 2 do wif food...
wt else did we go at siem reap?
well we had 2 gd fortune of finding a good tour agency-
v nice educated chap boss n guide- gd price 4 a
1 day tour package - morng Angkor wat... truly magnificient,
stalls n cheap good iced coconot everywhere ... but u get tired
of it sooner than u think...
i managed 2 get a nice photo tho as we were leaving -
a monkey climbing a tree in the foregrd wif Angkor in the distance...
we had a buffet dinner (which wuz okayy, clean) wif performance
... the agency jetted us abt this nice bus of korean/japanese origins
- reali.. nt js the brand man... the kind u see on telly...
anyway - we also went 4 the boat tour thing... forgettable
but great scenery... oh - there were kids playing n trying 2 get us 2 give
them cash- they were like rowing themselves on the lake
riding baskets, pots, little bath sinks... quite funny...
We bookd the bus to Phnom Penh fr this same co.
Sigh- the treatment we got reeaalii made me feel pain for the
previous ride- and all others following...
for $5USD - $8SGD? We got a limo bus ride- n yes it wuz all tt...
a transfer fr the hotel in tt same jappy-bus (hell i dun wed hv minded
taking this one) but we were chaffeured 2 the interchange
where we were greeted, name-list chekcd, our luggage bagged
n tagged - macam airport check-in n got on 2 a nice comfy
aircon bus. (tho the leg space wuz bit cramp 4 me)
anyway- the stewardess spoke adequate english,
n v shrewdly onli interrupted the journey mebe 3 times 2 point out
sites but otherwise shutt-up... n we got servd mineral water
n a lunch pack of cake sandwhcih n donut...
Get urself a map man n cehck out the distance fr Bangkok-SiemReap
and SieamReap to PhonmPen. Pure distance wise,
u can understand yyy i got so pissed at the previous rip-job...
oH YAA- i nv complain abt the prev con too... Js b4 we set-off- they
brought us 2 this money change wif CON rates-
i mentiond b4 tt 1USD approx 4000 riel... tt one changed it at 3300....
nt too shabby rates rite..?
well the ironic thing is- onli after we got on the rip job tt i read this
article in lonely planet- "beware of rides btw bangkok n siem reap
promising low rates etc...."
haha....
til the next bored-time
Monday, November 21, 2005
MORE RANDOME DESIRES
espresso machine + grinder
tatami mats
lots of original anime
bike
nice PC setup w surround sound system
Sporefilm society membership
bossa nova compilation
kendo?
nice SLR camera
chefs knife
cosmetic watch - seiko?
PS2/3 - replay FF7 onwards
Kendo class?
nice shelf for storing anime
new cutting board
hmm.... seems like tts it 4 nw....
espresso machine + grinder
tatami mats
lots of original anime
bike
nice PC setup w surround sound system
Sporefilm society membership
bossa nova compilation
kendo?
nice SLR camera
chefs knife
cosmetic watch - seiko?
PS2/3 - replay FF7 onwards
Kendo class?
nice shelf for storing anime
new cutting board
hmm.... seems like tts it 4 nw....
Sunday, November 20, 2005
for once, a lite-hearted post
i shal attempt 2 make a list of my fav/most impressive/memorable
animes. here goes-
1. R.O.D. (Read or Die) OVA
(most well balanced- cute, gd artwork, neat story... not fantastic
but i guess overall tops)
2. Spirited Away
(i put this here cos i remember being serious wow-ed by the film...
reali magical... again not v "in-depth" which is a reason y
some other titles r included in this list)
3. NOIR
(this the anime tt reali got me hooked...
brilliant OST, great story, great character development)
4. Full metal Alchemist
(this HAS 2 b 4th... again, nt v "deep" like noir...but its immensely
re-watchable... popular world-wide, very well balanced
anime, great plot pacing)
5. infinite ryvius
(this is defn one of my personal favs...
no reasons such as great grafix, critical acclaim etc.
but simply a reali great, emotional, heart-wrenching story
superb character dev- with a big cast sumore...
for those who duno the anime, its like Lord of the Flies on a spaceship)
6. Ghost in the shell
(hey... its GITS. nuff said)
7. CardCaptorSakura
(Surprising choice? mebe cos im a "cute anime" phase nw...
i would hv put ah megamisama here but prob
cos i recently watchd CCS so....)
8. Neon Genesis Evangelion
(again, a title included cos of its "ground-breakingness".. nt to
say i dun feel for it...)
9. Ah megamisama!
(I lurrrve oh my goddess... its just so sweet...
which is wats lacking fr many animes... someth simple
but gd ... quite "japanese")
10. Grave of the Fireflies
(Since we're on an emotional ride... GOTF comes next-
this film made me cry.. or almost... so it deserves 2 b here)
***
11. Mai-hime (very rewatchable)
(I guess purely based on merit- mai hime is nextt...
i gave the *** n gap cos its nt "top ten" heheh.
Mai-hime's reali one of the best anime 2 come out in
recent yrs i think... hard 2 put a finger on exactly wats nice
about it... but hey - high sch babes with super-powers?
Natsukiii....... )
12. InitialD
(InitialD was one of the 1st animes i caught...
during NS COS duty i saw a VCD set sitting in the rec room,
and proceeded 2 watch the entire 2nd season in one sitting..
As with most series, the 1st season was the best overall,
altho CG defn improved over time... intially (harhar), the
weird artwork put me off...)
13. Serial Experiments Lain
(I js love the ungraspableness of this anime... super)
14. kumo no mukou, yakusoku no basho (beyond the clouds, the place promised in our early days)
(I'm a little surprised y i put this here
but agn a great premise, stunning visualss...
tho the movie itself suffered fr a kind of dip at the end i think
but i read sumewhere it wuz made on a 1.5 Mil US budget... Amazzing!)
15. XTV
(others fr the unconfirmed list mite actualli b higher
than this... but i reali enjoyed X-TV overall... v cool
anime ... the Sadame (Destiny) background music
was a big factor in mood creation for this apocalyptic setting anime)
16. Angel Sanctuary OVA
(agn reaaali liked the story n premise- angels n demons warring,
main hero n heroine r bro n sis in incestuous r/s... v juicy..
i bought the comix 2 figure out the story)
17. Gravitation
(Yaoi!!... the onli one ive watchd... noth fantastic but interesting
premise agn... some gd songss)
18. You're Under Arrest
(I like this prob cos of AMG... js luv the characterss)
OTHERS 2 b considered....
Nadesico?
Hikaru no go - wuz reali inspiring 4 me ...
Honey&Clover?? mebe
Jin-roh- defn notable... this was reali fantastic film
altho depressing... but dun "feeel" alot for the anime
GundamWing - another earli anime 4 me... watchd it
in parts during NS when wuz LOBO-ing... ended up
buying it years later... one of my first sets i got... 100 bucks sia i think
IchigoMashimaro - so bloody cute i can die... but nt much substance larr
Bleach - v strong contender yes.... hope it doesnt go the
way of the Naruto series...
i shal attempt 2 make a list of my fav/most impressive/memorable
animes. here goes-
1. R.O.D. (Read or Die) OVA
(most well balanced- cute, gd artwork, neat story... not fantastic
but i guess overall tops)
2. Spirited Away
(i put this here cos i remember being serious wow-ed by the film...
reali magical... again not v "in-depth" which is a reason y
some other titles r included in this list)
3. NOIR
(this the anime tt reali got me hooked...
brilliant OST, great story, great character development)
4. Full metal Alchemist
(this HAS 2 b 4th... again, nt v "deep" like noir...but its immensely
re-watchable... popular world-wide, very well balanced
anime, great plot pacing)
5. infinite ryvius
(this is defn one of my personal favs...
no reasons such as great grafix, critical acclaim etc.
but simply a reali great, emotional, heart-wrenching story
superb character dev- with a big cast sumore...
for those who duno the anime, its like Lord of the Flies on a spaceship)
6. Ghost in the shell
(hey... its GITS. nuff said)
7. CardCaptorSakura
(Surprising choice? mebe cos im a "cute anime" phase nw...
i would hv put ah megamisama here but prob
cos i recently watchd CCS so....)
8. Neon Genesis Evangelion
(again, a title included cos of its "ground-breakingness".. nt to
say i dun feel for it...)
9. Ah megamisama!
(I lurrrve oh my goddess... its just so sweet...
which is wats lacking fr many animes... someth simple
but gd ... quite "japanese")
10. Grave of the Fireflies
(Since we're on an emotional ride... GOTF comes next-
this film made me cry.. or almost... so it deserves 2 b here)
***
11. Mai-hime (very rewatchable)
(I guess purely based on merit- mai hime is nextt...
i gave the *** n gap cos its nt "top ten" heheh.
Mai-hime's reali one of the best anime 2 come out in
recent yrs i think... hard 2 put a finger on exactly wats nice
about it... but hey - high sch babes with super-powers?
Natsukiii....... )
12. InitialD
(InitialD was one of the 1st animes i caught...
during NS COS duty i saw a VCD set sitting in the rec room,
and proceeded 2 watch the entire 2nd season in one sitting..
As with most series, the 1st season was the best overall,
altho CG defn improved over time... intially (harhar), the
weird artwork put me off...)
13. Serial Experiments Lain
(I js love the ungraspableness of this anime... super)
14. kumo no mukou, yakusoku no basho (beyond the clouds, the place promised in our early days)
(I'm a little surprised y i put this here
but agn a great premise, stunning visualss...
tho the movie itself suffered fr a kind of dip at the end i think
but i read sumewhere it wuz made on a 1.5 Mil US budget... Amazzing!)
15. XTV
(others fr the unconfirmed list mite actualli b higher
than this... but i reali enjoyed X-TV overall... v cool
anime ... the Sadame (Destiny) background music
was a big factor in mood creation for this apocalyptic setting anime)
16. Angel Sanctuary OVA
(agn reaaali liked the story n premise- angels n demons warring,
main hero n heroine r bro n sis in incestuous r/s... v juicy..
i bought the comix 2 figure out the story)
17. Gravitation
(Yaoi!!... the onli one ive watchd... noth fantastic but interesting
premise agn... some gd songss)
18. You're Under Arrest
(I like this prob cos of AMG... js luv the characterss)
OTHERS 2 b considered....
Nadesico?
Hikaru no go - wuz reali inspiring 4 me ...
Honey&Clover?? mebe
Jin-roh- defn notable... this was reali fantastic film
altho depressing... but dun "feeel" alot for the anime
GundamWing - another earli anime 4 me... watchd it
in parts during NS when wuz LOBO-ing... ended up
buying it years later... one of my first sets i got... 100 bucks sia i think
IchigoMashimaro - so bloody cute i can die... but nt much substance larr
Bleach - v strong contender yes.... hope it doesnt go the
way of the Naruto series...
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Sunday, October 16, 2005
how do i advertise myself for a job?
how to say nice things about urself when ur feeling shitty-
k nt as bad as tt - but
like-
if they want driven, success focus, results oriented person-
n i am not ambitious- quite slack- process orietned -
does it mean i shouldnt apply?
i mean - its nt tt i totally dun feel good abt myself-
tho the past few months does contribute 2wards
feeling shitty-
but what ive been proud of/worked towards
for most of my life until maybe 2,3 yrs ago
cant be said 2 b a "marketable skill" in the workforce.
- employ me please, im a nice guy with loyalty 2 the organisation
and high integrity"
Im not spouting sarcasm agst what is valuable-
being industrious, driven, etc. is defn good.
but what am i sposed 2 do here-
if im NOT somthing?
like how career guides teach u 2 extrapolate how u
spent ur student days into credible corporate skills-
e.g. u budget ur allowance well - budgeting/financial controll etc.
- u worked part-time while studyibg - good mutli-tasking
course, if ure hardworking/meticulous industrious etc. these
are equally valuable.
but i know i don't have self-discipline, Im lazy,
i control my finances poorly, and ive learnt that im not as smart
as i would like to think.
can i market myself purely based on potential?
no time for regret that for years, i sincerely believed
the most important thing was cultivating ones character-
e.g. be a good boy - honest blah blah blah-
perhaps it was just a cover for a slacker
im not bitter about it becos it was my choice- altho i might
sound so-
Im js trying 2 figure out what do i do - how should i sell myself?
thing is- im not one of those super performers-
we noe those ppl and most of us arent them. straight As, president of XYZ
club.
Im no slouch- have always had above average acad results,
a relatively sensible head, been fairly much involved in ECA.
but when i think back 2 NS, ECA, what stands out most to me
are the failures - which seems 2 define what i am.
I noe that doesnt define the ME. but it does say that i defn lack self-discipline.
WILL POWER.
I dun have success stories 2 put in a resume, i think... or maybe...
hmm...
learning experiences...
what can i be proud of achievement wise?
i am proude that i joined the MC. as purely a personal challenge- but
i failed miserably at my primary portfolio... cant shake that out of my mind.
I definitely learnt a grew a great deal- it seems strange to me that
something like that can both Grow my self confidence so much yet
make it so much more fragile at the same time.
Being proud of something might not be relevant all the time-
while i wasnt proud of what i did during the previous rag-
i noe then that i knew things that were of value. I knew
what to do and performed above and beyond my role.
I wasn't proude of it - but i did my work well.
Other times that i did my work well would be for those
advertisements for ISIS...
how are these relevant to say... Fujitsu MT position?
small team leadership?
loyalty 2 organisation?
hmm id buy tt...
commitment to task exellence (woaho tts a gd one- almost cliche)
there jus feels there can be so little that i can use as
an "Accolade"
how true is what Honda-Tohru from Fruits basket says?
she says:
people are like Onigiri (japanese rice packed into a triangle shape-
meant for convenient consumption as snack or takeaway lunch)
in how we easily identify the good points of those around us,
but cant see our own - we onigiri think of ourselves as simply
plain rice- noth special. but sometimes onigiri comes with something
special - like an umeboshi(perserved plum) pressed onto one side.
So, we onigiri fail to see that special thing pressed to our back- but
we easily see all the other onigiri and their ornaments...
heh crapped enuff 4 nw... do su ru...?
how to say nice things about urself when ur feeling shitty-
k nt as bad as tt - but
like-
if they want driven, success focus, results oriented person-
n i am not ambitious- quite slack- process orietned -
does it mean i shouldnt apply?
i mean - its nt tt i totally dun feel good abt myself-
tho the past few months does contribute 2wards
feeling shitty-
but what ive been proud of/worked towards
for most of my life until maybe 2,3 yrs ago
cant be said 2 b a "marketable skill" in the workforce.
- employ me please, im a nice guy with loyalty 2 the organisation
and high integrity"
Im not spouting sarcasm agst what is valuable-
being industrious, driven, etc. is defn good.
but what am i sposed 2 do here-
if im NOT somthing?
like how career guides teach u 2 extrapolate how u
spent ur student days into credible corporate skills-
e.g. u budget ur allowance well - budgeting/financial controll etc.
- u worked part-time while studyibg - good mutli-tasking
course, if ure hardworking/meticulous industrious etc. these
are equally valuable.
but i know i don't have self-discipline, Im lazy,
i control my finances poorly, and ive learnt that im not as smart
as i would like to think.
can i market myself purely based on potential?
no time for regret that for years, i sincerely believed
the most important thing was cultivating ones character-
e.g. be a good boy - honest blah blah blah-
perhaps it was just a cover for a slacker
im not bitter about it becos it was my choice- altho i might
sound so-
Im js trying 2 figure out what do i do - how should i sell myself?
thing is- im not one of those super performers-
we noe those ppl and most of us arent them. straight As, president of XYZ
club.
Im no slouch- have always had above average acad results,
a relatively sensible head, been fairly much involved in ECA.
but when i think back 2 NS, ECA, what stands out most to me
are the failures - which seems 2 define what i am.
I noe that doesnt define the ME. but it does say that i defn lack self-discipline.
WILL POWER.
I dun have success stories 2 put in a resume, i think... or maybe...
hmm...
learning experiences...
what can i be proud of achievement wise?
i am proude that i joined the MC. as purely a personal challenge- but
i failed miserably at my primary portfolio... cant shake that out of my mind.
I definitely learnt a grew a great deal- it seems strange to me that
something like that can both Grow my self confidence so much yet
make it so much more fragile at the same time.
Being proud of something might not be relevant all the time-
while i wasnt proud of what i did during the previous rag-
i noe then that i knew things that were of value. I knew
what to do and performed above and beyond my role.
I wasn't proude of it - but i did my work well.
Other times that i did my work well would be for those
advertisements for ISIS...
how are these relevant to say... Fujitsu MT position?
small team leadership?
loyalty 2 organisation?
hmm id buy tt...
commitment to task exellence (woaho tts a gd one- almost cliche)
there jus feels there can be so little that i can use as
an "Accolade"
how true is what Honda-Tohru from Fruits basket says?
she says:
people are like Onigiri (japanese rice packed into a triangle shape-
meant for convenient consumption as snack or takeaway lunch)
in how we easily identify the good points of those around us,
but cant see our own - we onigiri think of ourselves as simply
plain rice- noth special. but sometimes onigiri comes with something
special - like an umeboshi(perserved plum) pressed onto one side.
So, we onigiri fail to see that special thing pressed to our back- but
we easily see all the other onigiri and their ornaments...
heh crapped enuff 4 nw... do su ru...?
Sunday, October 02, 2005
trying 2 figure what i want... or like
examples i thinkg of
- drink tea at home in evening
in air conditioned comfort
drink GOOD beer - not tiger/carlsberg
etc. like Coopers Ale...
Dont like 2 much 2 cheong/even
gng out 2 drink - cos expensive sia
- if i wuz RICH ok la i guess
prefer 2 Save on tt...
got lotsa stuff 2 buy.want. like
biycyle.bike,
ciggies r troublesome ... both a want
n need and a ??? thing at the same
time...
want 2 develop a hobby
want 2 learn many musical thingies
want 2 learn self-defense.aikido.kendo
wan 2 save lotsa money
want job tt like
wan this wan tt
like movies
like anime
wan 2 collecct many anime
build nice big collection
buy new table
buy new computer
tt y gng out drinkg v ex
at least 30 bucks 4 Ok amount
12 plus for minimumm
too young too far 2 think SeRIously
of things like flat n retirement
wan 2 buy bike cos it feels like indepednet
n at least more grown up
but tts wrong somewat
messy thots sial...
wan 2 develop someth i guess
hence the tea.hobby.but itfeels rite at least
drinkg v nt necessary
i prefer in a sense gng 2 kopitiam
at nite n drink tea
casual
wine n tapas soun good tho...
tt aabit difficult 2 do at home
but stil doable
wt i wan nw...
i dowan do squat man
wan 2 get fit but eating like apig
but thers a strange glee in doin tt
but disgusting
wt work 2 do
i m js at the stage where js do anyth la
stop dreaming
but stil think it can b done
to do wat u feel
bored later dudes
examples i thinkg of
- drink tea at home in evening
in air conditioned comfort
drink GOOD beer - not tiger/carlsberg
etc. like Coopers Ale...
Dont like 2 much 2 cheong/even
gng out 2 drink - cos expensive sia
- if i wuz RICH ok la i guess
prefer 2 Save on tt...
got lotsa stuff 2 buy.want. like
biycyle.bike,
ciggies r troublesome ... both a want
n need and a ??? thing at the same
time...
want 2 develop a hobby
want 2 learn many musical thingies
want 2 learn self-defense.aikido.kendo
wan 2 save lotsa money
want job tt like
wan this wan tt
like movies
like anime
wan 2 collecct many anime
build nice big collection
buy new table
buy new computer
tt y gng out drinkg v ex
at least 30 bucks 4 Ok amount
12 plus for minimumm
too young too far 2 think SeRIously
of things like flat n retirement
wan 2 buy bike cos it feels like indepednet
n at least more grown up
but tts wrong somewat
messy thots sial...
wan 2 develop someth i guess
hence the tea.hobby.but itfeels rite at least
drinkg v nt necessary
i prefer in a sense gng 2 kopitiam
at nite n drink tea
casual
wine n tapas soun good tho...
tt aabit difficult 2 do at home
but stil doable
wt i wan nw...
i dowan do squat man
wan 2 get fit but eating like apig
but thers a strange glee in doin tt
but disgusting
wt work 2 do
i m js at the stage where js do anyth la
stop dreaming
but stil think it can b done
to do wat u feel
bored later dudes
Saturday, September 03, 2005
how many of us feel we are going nuts
when the world seems 2 think we R
alright...?
its not alright 2 scream
nt acceptable...
itd b nice 2 b comforted
instead of providing comfort
but id probably refuse it
- like Reiki!
pride, likely it is, gets in the
way
esp assistance fr u noe where
- y the unexplaine3d bitterness?
js a reactionary defense mech i think
where can i b myself?
onli @ home it seems when no-one
is home.
with my telly and ani-me
wt is "being oneself?"
i do not wish 2 play the martyr anymore
nor the self-suffering misunderstood
soul
the time 4 tt is past
but sometimes cant b helpd
it feels like
let me overdose on pleasure in various
forms
i should hv tried when i had the chance
-
i am angry at myself n institutiions
for being such a conformist-
society today strongly suggests
tt conformist traits are contrary
to success
the irony of the 80s>00s
wt once was desirable is no longer
but tt jus shows things change
all the time
no catharsis 4 me today i think
let me bleed and watch over-cute
cartoons 2 distract-
From What?
but tts pleasure in one of its forms
CUTE
stay cool boys n girlz
when the world seems 2 think we R
alright...?
its not alright 2 scream
nt acceptable...
itd b nice 2 b comforted
instead of providing comfort
but id probably refuse it
- like Reiki!
pride, likely it is, gets in the
way
esp assistance fr u noe where
- y the unexplaine3d bitterness?
js a reactionary defense mech i think
where can i b myself?
onli @ home it seems when no-one
is home.
with my telly and ani-me
wt is "being oneself?"
i do not wish 2 play the martyr anymore
nor the self-suffering misunderstood
soul
the time 4 tt is past
but sometimes cant b helpd
it feels like
let me overdose on pleasure in various
forms
i should hv tried when i had the chance
-
i am angry at myself n institutiions
for being such a conformist-
society today strongly suggests
tt conformist traits are contrary
to success
the irony of the 80s>00s
wt once was desirable is no longer
but tt jus shows things change
all the time
no catharsis 4 me today i think
let me bleed and watch over-cute
cartoons 2 distract-
From What?
but tts pleasure in one of its forms
CUTE
stay cool boys n girlz
Thursday, August 25, 2005
The problem with thought and thinking
and introspection etc.
is tt thought is too fluid... to emm wats
tt word - ever-changing (theres a word
for this... volatile- no... mm ...
like chinese wu xia - bianhua duo or soemht)
anyways... yes- the thing is
thinkg lead to - sometimes admission
of faults or weaknesses - the prob
wif me is tt sometimes these
admissions can become excuses-
like "im lazy" -so instead of leading
2 actions of working harder -
it can bcum a composite of
telling urself 2 work harder while
the truth of "being lazy" is subconsciously
confirmed...
tts sort of the simplest e.g. tt comes 2 mind
i need 2 b more objective man sez a personality
type thingi... makes sense - wt i think
objective means is to disassociate feelings with
tasks. ie ignore the pain (in a dramatic way)
i thinkg like NS man...
i rem in a slightly vague way the pain
tt comes wif being forced 2 do certain things...
e.g. many many push-ups in FBO -
psychological torture if one slackens n the
whole group is made 2 continue in tt
uncomfortable position hands on asphalt
hot sun backpack slipping over head pushing
down helmet. sweat drips n continues drippin
down staining the asphalt a darker grey than it
should b outlining our human shilouette
- it would hv been alot ezier 4 me if
i could hv js disassociated rite? hw tho is interesting
my MBTI is either INFP - i took this test proper
in VJC dayz... a while later i took it was
ISTJ ... but i think mite b closer to ISFP
ah heck the middles r all pretty close i think
POint is the profile idetnifies me as strongest
in FEELING n next in either INTUITION or SENSING
- problem here is tt the words dun mean exactly
as they do in functional english...
if i rem correctly FEELING is abt empathy etc.
- meaning one fits best in like, for e.g.,
artist careers... hmm
hw 2 disassociate then? try lor i guess...NO dun try
DO ...a heck...
random rants ?????
and introspection etc.
is tt thought is too fluid... to emm wats
tt word - ever-changing (theres a word
for this... volatile- no... mm ...
like chinese wu xia - bianhua duo or soemht)
anyways... yes- the thing is
thinkg lead to - sometimes admission
of faults or weaknesses - the prob
wif me is tt sometimes these
admissions can become excuses-
like "im lazy" -so instead of leading
2 actions of working harder -
it can bcum a composite of
telling urself 2 work harder while
the truth of "being lazy" is subconsciously
confirmed...
tts sort of the simplest e.g. tt comes 2 mind
i need 2 b more objective man sez a personality
type thingi... makes sense - wt i think
objective means is to disassociate feelings with
tasks. ie ignore the pain (in a dramatic way)
i thinkg like NS man...
i rem in a slightly vague way the pain
tt comes wif being forced 2 do certain things...
e.g. many many push-ups in FBO -
psychological torture if one slackens n the
whole group is made 2 continue in tt
uncomfortable position hands on asphalt
hot sun backpack slipping over head pushing
down helmet. sweat drips n continues drippin
down staining the asphalt a darker grey than it
should b outlining our human shilouette
- it would hv been alot ezier 4 me if
i could hv js disassociated rite? hw tho is interesting
my MBTI is either INFP - i took this test proper
in VJC dayz... a while later i took it was
ISTJ ... but i think mite b closer to ISFP
ah heck the middles r all pretty close i think
POint is the profile idetnifies me as strongest
in FEELING n next in either INTUITION or SENSING
- problem here is tt the words dun mean exactly
as they do in functional english...
if i rem correctly FEELING is abt empathy etc.
- meaning one fits best in like, for e.g.,
artist careers... hmm
hw 2 disassociate then? try lor i guess...NO dun try
DO ...a heck...
random rants ?????
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
here i am....
been wantin 2 rant 4 quite a while but
couldnt put the proverbial pen 2 paper...
wt did i wan 2 rant abt?
hmm i guess all the complications
of internal monologue...
getting angry at instituitions n
standards... - a dialectic tts been poppin
up in my mind is this:
4 mos of my life ive been operatin on
"wat should i do?" emphasis on the should-
as opposed 2 wat i want 2 do...
u noe- living up 2 a standard ?
chasing a dream is somewat different u noe...
standard - ideals.... fine line of difference
but i guess i m complaining- blaming tt
ohhh its bcoz of XYZ tt ive been repressed etc.
etc. theres some truth in tt yea, but immediately
the "adult" (adult-child voice a la freud... freud ritE?... i think so.)
comes in n sez "oh no dun blame...! Ur life is ur
own ur choices etc..)
so wt 2 do i do then wif this feelings?
hmm anyway on 2 the nextt ...
hmm brainz abit lazier 2day...
bit ridiculous acherli this thing of
self-censorship... mebe im js mos
angry at myself? But the moment i thot tt
i was upset got tts so bloody cliche...
U noe- the matry( 4got hw 2spell) complex
martry -? ...
ya...
mebe im js upset cos i dun hv a job?
seriously tho - i hate gravitating 2wards
wanting 2 b responsible n nt giving a damn..
k k tts nt reali accurate...
more like... again as ive chong-heid
operating ur life based on the "should"
and the wt i realli want...
theres good argument 4 the "wt i reali want"
line...
the "should" - in some part, can b hypocritical-
cos ME or ONE, is simply desiring 2 b
a "good boy" ... operating fr a sense
of inadequacy ... meaning its nt realii
cos the person (or ME) want to,
for e.g. drive (class 3)... but cos
it someth tt feels gd to have, should hv etc.
ie societal expectations...
cos this is complicated cos its together
wif real, honest "SHOULD" feelings, for e.g.
thinkg tt it b nice if i can drive my parents
ard... who nv drove me ard u noe...
chasing after the want - cos theres the operational
benefits - doin someth u love > better perfromance etc.
more likely 2 hit the top of the field etc.
Relating all this to current real life
pursuits- gettin a job makes it complciated i guess
altho at the end - dun reali help much i think...
hmm wt ive been feelin hasnt been as mundane
dry non-emotional as the post so far.,.. but tts
gd cos i desire self-censorship... but at same
time v irritated by my own...
For e.g. if fren ask me 2 do someth - even if i
dun reali feel like doin - self censorship steps
in n i would not verbalise the lack of desire...
k bad e.g. but someth like tt... which leads ppl
to think tt i DO desire tt action...
i shal post this first b4 it disappears...
been wantin 2 rant 4 quite a while but
couldnt put the proverbial pen 2 paper...
wt did i wan 2 rant abt?
hmm i guess all the complications
of internal monologue...
getting angry at instituitions n
standards... - a dialectic tts been poppin
up in my mind is this:
4 mos of my life ive been operatin on
"wat should i do?" emphasis on the should-
as opposed 2 wat i want 2 do...
u noe- living up 2 a standard ?
chasing a dream is somewat different u noe...
standard - ideals.... fine line of difference
but i guess i m complaining- blaming tt
ohhh its bcoz of XYZ tt ive been repressed etc.
etc. theres some truth in tt yea, but immediately
the "adult" (adult-child voice a la freud... freud ritE?... i think so.)
comes in n sez "oh no dun blame...! Ur life is ur
own ur choices etc..)
so wt 2 do i do then wif this feelings?
hmm anyway on 2 the nextt ...
hmm brainz abit lazier 2day...
bit ridiculous acherli this thing of
self-censorship... mebe im js mos
angry at myself? But the moment i thot tt
i was upset got tts so bloody cliche...
U noe- the matry( 4got hw 2spell) complex
martry -? ...
ya...
mebe im js upset cos i dun hv a job?
seriously tho - i hate gravitating 2wards
wanting 2 b responsible n nt giving a damn..
k k tts nt reali accurate...
more like... again as ive chong-heid
operating ur life based on the "should"
and the wt i realli want...
theres good argument 4 the "wt i reali want"
line...
the "should" - in some part, can b hypocritical-
cos ME or ONE, is simply desiring 2 b
a "good boy" ... operating fr a sense
of inadequacy ... meaning its nt realii
cos the person (or ME) want to,
for e.g. drive (class 3)... but cos
it someth tt feels gd to have, should hv etc.
ie societal expectations...
cos this is complicated cos its together
wif real, honest "SHOULD" feelings, for e.g.
thinkg tt it b nice if i can drive my parents
ard... who nv drove me ard u noe...
chasing after the want - cos theres the operational
benefits - doin someth u love > better perfromance etc.
more likely 2 hit the top of the field etc.
Relating all this to current real life
pursuits- gettin a job makes it complciated i guess
altho at the end - dun reali help much i think...
hmm wt ive been feelin hasnt been as mundane
dry non-emotional as the post so far.,.. but tts
gd cos i desire self-censorship... but at same
time v irritated by my own...
For e.g. if fren ask me 2 do someth - even if i
dun reali feel like doin - self censorship steps
in n i would not verbalise the lack of desire...
k bad e.g. but someth like tt... which leads ppl
to think tt i DO desire tt action...
i shal post this first b4 it disappears...
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Thursday, August 11, 2005
been thinkg of couple of things
1)idea 4 both cathartic n entertaining - as well as interactive
post - to make up a list of my most dear memories
2) to pontificate on my choices 4 my life, particularly
that pertaining to career
About no.2 - even by phrasing it as such,
i subscribe to the idea that "career"
makes up a only part of that thing called "life".
While tt is true, by constantly reiterating such
a perspective, we also imbibe the idea that
maybe career isnt someth tt is necessarily
"living life" or an enjoyable part etc; and
that there is a portion of "life" apart from
career that we reserve for ourselves -e.g.
lesiure etc.
Right now, i am in the process of believing in the
idea that we can choose how to live,
(except for those of us whose circumstance
dicates certain priorities -e.g. money)
and that we can choose a career that
resonates with who we are.
I guess all of us, even without thinking,
do live this choice out - by dropping
and changing jobs later on in life
without all this time-wasting philosophising...
Wat i want, hope to do is to decide how
i want to live 4 nw - i dont want to
get a job bcoz its wat we're supposed to do-
altho this is a necessity yes.
But i admit the pressure to "just get a job"
is there... and ironicaly, waiting doesnt
reali help my situation...
wt 2 doz...
scary thots ...
strange nw tt RIGHT nw, it seems
alooot less scary 2 just apply
at any stat board... rather than
chooose someth tt i just Might
b "passionate" about... Someth
tt would b HOW i choose 2 live.
Truly a career rather than a job
***
Hmm mebe i should hv taken Jap studies after all...
yes yes thats all in the past...
sometimes cant help nostalgia-ing u noe...
weird man...
i mean.. i reali enjoyed studyin my jap mods...
i mean i enjoyed studing in Uni man...
JC too but didn reali STUDY then...
how have i cahnged fr yr 1 til nw?
21-25 yrs- numerically not a whole lot of diff
but 21 stil (souns young)
25 (starting to soun "oldd" - altho
u start workin course ur the runt then)
but then 4 some jobs.... like someth
i thinkg of nw -e.g. cooking ... ?
nt many ppl start dishwashing at 25 u noe..?
at least i think nt many do...
dun give u too many years to TRY...
wt if u wake up at 27 - n ur still
a bloody (assistant kind of thing)
earning 1.2K a month?
die rite?
how?
Nw i dun need the money -
but wt when im 30 -
n every1 is in the PRIME,
earning 3plus, 4K probably...
comfortable at least -
or prob worrying abt (aiya flat, car
pay 1-2K everymonth hw 2 survive etc.)
and then at tt time parents be
pushing 60... retirement looms...
then hw? i pretty sure their CPF
nt much cash...
n their prob gng 2 live quite a while
...
if i start fr scratch then - did i not
give it enuff commitment -
if i do - wt do i do... ?
30 yrs old wif no executive experience..?
altho by then prob can do restaurant mgt-
which mite nt b bad thing heh...
Yes yes im thinkg too much 2 far in the future
when i havent even sent out 1 bloody resume....
but it starts fr tt resume rite?
fr choosign WHERE u want 2 send
which doors u wan 2 knock
in a way this like the "selfish" option...
but then i have a choice
unlike frens who Dun have much of one -
i had one church fren who told me v simply-
his heart calls to social work - but
he went 2 teaching cos of higher pay-
i guess at least it nt Tooo much of a stretch...
ok ive ranted enuff 4 nw...
***
About the memories list- il try 2 start one nw...
i thot abt it on the bus a while back but 4 got..
these things need Mood man..
lesse if i remember...
1. (thot of 1 but shant showhaha -sunglasses beach)
2. (meetg church some1)
3. Waking up at 630pm after wuz sick to watch NDP many years ago...
defn nt in the remembering mood...
4. working on AEP project - giant chessboard wif clay chess pieces
5. taking photographs of the night sky in sec 1, walkin wif v reputed
seniors then too... [super sportsmen/artists/10A1s at Olevels]
6. tailor-making my sec 1 BB uniform
7. crying after my sec3/4 BB bible quiz lost... my fault mah sorta
8. gettin beat up abit in pri 3 after super-soaking a stranger who
asked to play
9. 20c icecream uncle outside sch
10. i speak english name tag heh
11. suddenli realising my pri 5 girl classmate became quite chio haha
12. self-organised eating competition wif fren in pri 4-5
13. once spent 6.40 at recess in sec sch
Hmm these nt exactly wt i wass thinkg of on the bus
not so treasured some of these... but stil interesting la
14. finding a kitty on way home in kindergarden
15. burying my dead terrapins at my block 104 bedok north downstairs
16. "surfin on the sch bus home" - waiting for hump then jump at back of bus
- k these are More like it...
we are a collection of memories arent we?
n this makes us unique....
even if we have a clone wif exact fingerprint- a la "the Island"
...
js thinkg - if b one of most scary things if we dun hv memories
- was tryin 4 a sec last time to
Think like I DUN HV memories-
like Guy Pierce in Memento (friggin gd show)
i think we might b better off
in a sense - cos we wont hv learnt
all the wrong things we learnt
like.... certain fears we learnt?
e.g. young time kena hurt by frens so
we learn distrust - someth like tt?
so we mite accherli b more "pure"
more like our original selves...?
But then - we can never grow...
if we dun hv memories- reali
onli living in the present -
mebe theres no reason to live then? mebe
wa rant 2 much liao okok...
1)idea 4 both cathartic n entertaining - as well as interactive
post - to make up a list of my most dear memories
2) to pontificate on my choices 4 my life, particularly
that pertaining to career
About no.2 - even by phrasing it as such,
i subscribe to the idea that "career"
makes up a only part of that thing called "life".
While tt is true, by constantly reiterating such
a perspective, we also imbibe the idea that
maybe career isnt someth tt is necessarily
"living life" or an enjoyable part etc; and
that there is a portion of "life" apart from
career that we reserve for ourselves -e.g.
lesiure etc.
Right now, i am in the process of believing in the
idea that we can choose how to live,
(except for those of us whose circumstance
dicates certain priorities -e.g. money)
and that we can choose a career that
resonates with who we are.
I guess all of us, even without thinking,
do live this choice out - by dropping
and changing jobs later on in life
without all this time-wasting philosophising...
Wat i want, hope to do is to decide how
i want to live 4 nw - i dont want to
get a job bcoz its wat we're supposed to do-
altho this is a necessity yes.
But i admit the pressure to "just get a job"
is there... and ironicaly, waiting doesnt
reali help my situation...
wt 2 doz...
scary thots ...
strange nw tt RIGHT nw, it seems
alooot less scary 2 just apply
at any stat board... rather than
chooose someth tt i just Might
b "passionate" about... Someth
tt would b HOW i choose 2 live.
Truly a career rather than a job
***
Hmm mebe i should hv taken Jap studies after all...
yes yes thats all in the past...
sometimes cant help nostalgia-ing u noe...
weird man...
i mean.. i reali enjoyed studyin my jap mods...
i mean i enjoyed studing in Uni man...
JC too but didn reali STUDY then...
how have i cahnged fr yr 1 til nw?
21-25 yrs- numerically not a whole lot of diff
but 21 stil (souns young)
25 (starting to soun "oldd" - altho
u start workin course ur the runt then)
but then 4 some jobs.... like someth
i thinkg of nw -e.g. cooking ... ?
nt many ppl start dishwashing at 25 u noe..?
at least i think nt many do...
dun give u too many years to TRY...
wt if u wake up at 27 - n ur still
a bloody (assistant kind of thing)
earning 1.2K a month?
die rite?
how?
Nw i dun need the money -
but wt when im 30 -
n every1 is in the PRIME,
earning 3plus, 4K probably...
comfortable at least -
or prob worrying abt (aiya flat, car
pay 1-2K everymonth hw 2 survive etc.)
and then at tt time parents be
pushing 60... retirement looms...
then hw? i pretty sure their CPF
nt much cash...
n their prob gng 2 live quite a while
...
if i start fr scratch then - did i not
give it enuff commitment -
if i do - wt do i do... ?
30 yrs old wif no executive experience..?
altho by then prob can do restaurant mgt-
which mite nt b bad thing heh...
Yes yes im thinkg too much 2 far in the future
when i havent even sent out 1 bloody resume....
but it starts fr tt resume rite?
fr choosign WHERE u want 2 send
which doors u wan 2 knock
in a way this like the "selfish" option...
but then i have a choice
unlike frens who Dun have much of one -
i had one church fren who told me v simply-
his heart calls to social work - but
he went 2 teaching cos of higher pay-
i guess at least it nt Tooo much of a stretch...
ok ive ranted enuff 4 nw...
***
About the memories list- il try 2 start one nw...
i thot abt it on the bus a while back but 4 got..
these things need Mood man..
lesse if i remember...
1. (thot of 1 but shant showhaha -sunglasses beach)
2. (meetg church some1)
3. Waking up at 630pm after wuz sick to watch NDP many years ago...
defn nt in the remembering mood...
4. working on AEP project - giant chessboard wif clay chess pieces
5. taking photographs of the night sky in sec 1, walkin wif v reputed
seniors then too... [super sportsmen/artists/10A1s at Olevels]
6. tailor-making my sec 1 BB uniform
7. crying after my sec3/4 BB bible quiz lost... my fault mah sorta
8. gettin beat up abit in pri 3 after super-soaking a stranger who
asked to play
9. 20c icecream uncle outside sch
10. i speak english name tag heh
11. suddenli realising my pri 5 girl classmate became quite chio haha
12. self-organised eating competition wif fren in pri 4-5
13. once spent 6.40 at recess in sec sch
Hmm these nt exactly wt i wass thinkg of on the bus
not so treasured some of these... but stil interesting la
14. finding a kitty on way home in kindergarden
15. burying my dead terrapins at my block 104 bedok north downstairs
16. "surfin on the sch bus home" - waiting for hump then jump at back of bus
- k these are More like it...
we are a collection of memories arent we?
n this makes us unique....
even if we have a clone wif exact fingerprint- a la "the Island"
...
js thinkg - if b one of most scary things if we dun hv memories
- was tryin 4 a sec last time to
Think like I DUN HV memories-
like Guy Pierce in Memento (friggin gd show)
i think we might b better off
in a sense - cos we wont hv learnt
all the wrong things we learnt
like.... certain fears we learnt?
e.g. young time kena hurt by frens so
we learn distrust - someth like tt?
so we mite accherli b more "pure"
more like our original selves...?
But then - we can never grow...
if we dun hv memories- reali
onli living in the present -
mebe theres no reason to live then? mebe
wa rant 2 much liao okok...
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
I have blogged in the past primarily for carthatic effects...
right nw i feel quite calm so its different...
4 months to go til "graduation" of sorts...
i wish i had a better grasp on reality-
or mebe in other words,
that I had all the answers...
its strange that at this point of my life
i feel more inadequate than ive ever felt
for life itself.
i know my problems but i don't know their
solutions ...
standy...
?????????????????
??????????????
???????????
right nw i feel quite calm so its different...
4 months to go til "graduation" of sorts...
i wish i had a better grasp on reality-
or mebe in other words,
that I had all the answers...
its strange that at this point of my life
i feel more inadequate than ive ever felt
for life itself.
i know my problems but i don't know their
solutions ...
standy...
?????????????????
??????????????
???????????
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